on the year that made you.

I think there are some years that make you-- that hold onto you and where you always feel a pull to hold onto those lessons you learned.


There are years that change you-- that rock you-- that flip you upside down.


For me-- 2010 built me.

It’s still building me.


Really, it was my freshman year of college. I lived with the embodiment of true and real friendship. We laughed and ate too much sugar and danced to dumb songs and laughed about boys that loved us and met each other at our darkest places.


I learned what it’s like to physically break. I learned this the same week I learned what sobbing into your steering wheel on the side of the road feels like -- the kind of pain that accompanies the death of a friend.


The best year of my life rolled miraculously into the worst year of my life.


It’s a year that still haunts me-- still holds me. That I still cry over-- how good and sweet and pure all mixed with the feelings of growing up and raw brokenness.


Later that year, I would run laps around a grass soccer field and laugh into the sky with the freedom of a healed bone. I would make different friends and fall in love with a boy.


Years later-- that year will still make me sigh.


There are years that make you.

And all that’s left is you holding onto the sweetness that growing pains show in retrospect.


And you’ll always know-- that was the year that made you who you are today.