a year in review.

. If there was ever a year to wreck and rebuild me, this would be the one. I’ve never in my life walked out of a year with such a foggy recollection of what the beginning was like- January 2017 a distant memory, the girl inhabiting my shoes a different person entirely.

 

I thought I would run a marathon and have sick abs this year as I sought to “purify” my life. Oh, the irony. My body-view and worldview were flipped on their head this year. I’m grateful even if that gratefulness is in hindsight and there were a lot of tears.

 

I spent a lot of this year angry about what I’ve seen in the world and in the news and in Twitter feeds full of hate. A lot of people say the easiest way to “be thankful” is just to avoid anything bad happening in the world. I think that’s a load of crap. Stay mad, people. Fight for better.

 

I didn’t think I was ready to be a mom. But as I leave 2017, I see that my identity has only been added to and in no way diminished. I can’t believe I have the honor of knowing, loving, and raising Hattie.

 

A year can’t be just good or bad. This is life. We’re all of a bunch of humans trying to figure it out: some bad, some good. Some beginnings, some endings. Rhythms and repetitions. I feel more centered this year. Less upset in all that I haven’t accomplished yet. There is still a lot of work to be done, and as much as I love the battle cry that a new, fresh slate of a year brings nothing in our timeline ever really is what we think it will be. It’s best to keep showing up and throwing punches. 

I want more. Not more stuff. But more justice. More kindness. More dreams cominf true. For me. For Andrew. For my friends. For my family. For strangers. 

 

But today is what it is.  

And so today, the last day of 2017, that is enough. 

 Chicago, April 2017. I cried. One of the best days ever. Freaking Hamilton. 

Chicago, April 2017. I cried. One of the best days ever. Freaking Hamilton. 

 The sea will always heal you. 

The sea will always heal you. 

 Hey world, we’re havin’ a kid. 

Hey world, we’re havin’ a kid. 

 This girl moved in New York and continued to be brave and kind. 

This girl moved in New York and continued to be brave and kind. 

 At 25 weeks pregnant, I rode on a bus to Colorado for YoungLife camp. Would not recommend a bus pregnant. Would definitely recommend spending a week with the cutest cuties. 

At 25 weeks pregnant, I rode on a bus to Colorado for YoungLife camp. Would not recommend a bus pregnant. Would definitely recommend spending a week with the cutest cuties. 

 My track girls! They bring such joy. 

My track girls! They bring such joy. 

 YoungLife Tacky Prom with some gems. 

YoungLife Tacky Prom with some gems. 

 Best beach bod I’ve ever had.  

Best beach bod I’ve ever had.  

 Baby showers by friends and family who love me well. 

Baby showers by friends and family who love me well. 

 Hattie Elizabeth Harrison enters the world and makes it better and brighter. 

Hattie Elizabeth Harrison enters the world and makes it better and brighter. 

 Andrew started grad school at Emory. I’m so freaking proud of him: Masters program + several jobs + becoming a dad. 

Andrew started grad school at Emory. I’m so freaking proud of him: Masters program + several jobs + becoming a dad. 

 Hattie goes on her first (of many to come) brewery trip. 

Hattie goes on her first (of many to come) brewery trip. 

 Magical snow! 

Magical snow! 

 Grateful for friends who love Hattie! 

Grateful for friends who love Hattie!