a letter to high school girls.

To all the high school girls I know and care about–

This is a letter to you. And to anyone else to whom it may apply . Hereis what I want you to know about the world you live in that is a soft-pornworld, an over-sexualized world, and a world where you constantly feel like youare in a frantic search for “that guy”. 

You need to wait. 

I want you to know that you are worth waiting for a good guy. You are worth waiting for a guy who loves Jesus and is filled with the Holy Spirit. 

You are. 

And it’s not really fair, because you live in a culture that throws “relationship goals” in your face. That makes it seem like having “love” right now will make everything better and make high school easier.

I’ve heard it all: the sexting, the nudes, the cheating, and then the “but he really loves me”. Stop. Just stop. You need to know that while it’s hard, you need to wait to have sex when you’re married. You need to because you’re called to. You need to because you are promised a greater gift than anything this shit you are seeing all over social media can provide. 

I was twenty-four when I got married. That’s too early to be married for some people and too lame to have waited that long to others. It doesn’t really matter. It’s my life, my story—you have one too. Be willing to rise above and live it out.

Stop saying there are no good guys left. Stop settling. You’re only hurting yourself. 

We were twenty-two and had been dating long-distance for four years. We were making out on my bed and he pushed me off him. “I just don’t want to disrespect you”, he said. 

“Please disrespect me. I’m so tired of being a virgin,” were the words that shot through my mind.

“Dear boy, thank goodness you were stronger than this girl. I’m glad you made me wait till marriage. Not because it saved my life or our relationship, because it didn’t. I’m still glad you made me wait, because you gave me a gift worth waiting for the fulfillment of glory”. 

There are some things people can’t explain to you: the true brilliance of the stars, why certain songs will forever trigger either tears or deep laughter (even after ten years), and how to really describe the way a vast ocean makes you feel small. There are plenty of “unexplainables” in life, which is part of what makes being a human so cool. The reason you should wait until marriage to have sex can’t be explained, but you will feel the weight of its value if you do happen to wait. You will sigh and while it’s unexplainable, you will feel like you’ve been granted access into one of God’s most important gifts. And that is about all there is to it. It’s like watching an astonishing sunset over the sea. If you see it too early, it’s beautiful- no argument. But the richest, deepest colors may come after. You deserve a life that isn’t cheated of the richest, deepest colors life has to offer.

If you don’t wait, will your future marriage be marred for all eternity? Will you never really understand love? Of course not- you will simply miss out on a sweet gift that God giggled and dreamed up and made because He made marriage to be something that rocks the worlds of His people with how good it is. That’s not a threat or ploy either; it’s just a simple promise.

Don’t settle for the guy who can’t resist you because it makes you feel special. Pray for the guy who can, who will resist you- not because he wants to, but because he loves you.

Lust is real, duh. But it’s not as strong as love, especially when love is led by the voice of the Holy Spirit. 

As I’m listening to story after story of the struggle and the pain and the heartbreak- I realize I never recognized how proud I should be of the man I call my husband.

Twenty-two, struggled with lust his whole life. And I made it a whole lot worse. And he still was stronger than me and reminded me to wait. That it would be better. And it was. He loved me enough to declare that lust didn’t have the control, the Holy Spirit did. 

That is the guy you wait for. That is the guy you promise your life too. 

He wrote this once in an old letter– 

“You feel a lot of emotions but the truth is that love is never found among them, it merely succeeds them, or supercedes them. It really is super frustrating and magical, and most importantly- forgiving.”

We are given a glimpse of God’s deep, commanding love by the relationships we live on earth. 

Dear High School Girls, I love you. 
And you deserve Great Love and a guy who loves Jesus more than he loves you and loves you more than he craves your body.
Don’t waste it, you’re worth the best because of the hands that dearly molded you. 

(P.S. Andrew you should know I’m really proud of who you are- I hope everyone else knows I’m really proud too).