dancing wildly on.

sometimes i find it necessary to revisit the person i was weeks, months, or years ago. Your own character can often seem as if it stepped out of an entirely different work of literature than the pages of life one is currently living. there are pages of the past that we revisit fondly, and visions of oneself that we gaze upon with confusion and some with clarity.

i guess it is easiest to see yourself clearly as you were when you are still in the mudded process of figuring out exactly who you are in the present.

i guess it is much harder than i imagined to have my identity be simply in who Christ made me, because to be connected to almost nothing is not as hard as it should be at age twenty two.

yet it is, i am not in college. i am not really an adult yet. i am definitely not engaged, as people remind me daily, but i’m in the phase of life where i know who i one day will be engaged, then married, to. i am in the middle ground, the place below and between two canyon ridges. here it is cool and breezy and not dissatisfying; yet, it is a little off-kilter.

identity is a funny thing. it is comprised of our current beliefs and situations and location and relations and yet it is also a collage of all the pieces of each step we have taken. and those pieces will only keep collecting, even in the moments in the land of the in-between. so for now, all you can do is dance wildly on as the you in the canyon bottom, even if you can’t quite see the you that will be you on the other side of the ridge.