rejoicing in the rescue.

      In the book of Exodus, God takes his people, his chosen and delighted in, and rescues from the country of Egypt where they had been enslaved. This story is timeless, famous, and told often in and out of Biblical circles. It is the story of rescue. What I had never thought about until tonight was the beautiful way in which the rescue is not all at once—it is a process, for lack of a better word after a day of educational development discussions. But seriously, His rescue is strategically step-by-step. At each point they panic and forget that they have just been rescued. After the plagues they come to the sea. After the sea is split, they are without food and water. And it continues, but the rescue is also a reminder each time that panic is a ridiculous quandary. There is a rescue, every step of the way.

     For weeks, months even, I have been kicking and screaming and holding on for dear life to the gates of the life I wanted. I dragged my feet, forgetting the provision of having a job and only running around cursing the fact that I was moving and alone and forgotten. God has provided over and over but at each turn the past is forgotten and I have found myself angry and resistant to any good. I had a job, but I had zero trust that I would like it or make friends. All I wanted was a life with the boy I adore and the city I already knew.

   But all that kicking and scratching and dragging of feet landed me here. New place, new space, one-bedroom apartment, long-distance relationship once again. And guess what, it is all okay. I am not in isolation. I am in a part of the rescue. A part, because God walks alongside rather than waiting for the mess at the end. My complaining heart has gotten in the way of the way I worship and communicate. In fact, I just haven’t. Haven’t wanted to talk about it, haven’t wanted to worship— ridiculous considering the entire placement of where I am is the doing of the Lord, meant for His purpose.

   I am a diva and I like to get what I want. Hard to admit, but that’s a fact. I am learning now that the Lord is taking care of me even when I wanted to be a rebellious teen, to do it all on my own. And in one day I have made friends with sweet colleagues, became the head girls track coach, had peace about where I am living, and was invited to a Bible study where I was in community like I hadn’t been in years. I was being rescued all along, I just didn’t know how to rejoice in it.

   And yes, I still want to be with the boy I adore. But that comes along with trusting that the sea may just part. We are both being taken care of and learning to trust the Lord and love each other deeply. We have learned we ache when we are apart; we have learned that we feel whole when we are together. That is big- to complete someone. That is part of walking in faith though, the knowing that we too are a part of the plan and our time will come, soon. And when it does, we will be able to walk together knowing that our patience and faithfulness (albeit unwillingly) only led to something beautiful.

Until then, we will just be here and there. Learning, learning everyday, to rejoice in the rescue.